1
00:00:09,241 --> 00:00:10,930
♪ You know it's gotta be
G'd up ♪

2
00:00:10,931 --> 00:00:12,654
♪ The kind of show that make
you cowards get beat up ♪

3
00:00:12,655 --> 00:00:14,930
♪ We on the outs until
we caught it and go do bids ♪

4
00:00:14,931 --> 00:00:16,861
♪ Man, you know the streets
ain't for kids ♪

5
00:00:16,862 --> 00:00:18,343
♪ Come on, come on ♪

6
00:00:18,344 --> 00:00:21,379
♪ I can't take the hood
out of me ♪

7
00:00:25,827 --> 00:00:27,481
All right. Come on, Ma.

8
00:00:27,482 --> 00:00:29,412
Let's hurry up and get to
church so I can see my boys.

9
00:00:29,413 --> 00:00:31,171
Church is for
getting your soul right

10
00:00:31,172 --> 00:00:34,723
with the Lord, not silly things
like playing with your friends.

11
00:00:34,724 --> 00:00:36,723
It's also not about
you embarrassing me

12
00:00:36,724 --> 00:00:38,585
in front of my friends.

13
00:00:38,586 --> 00:00:40,585
So let me get that cold
out your eyes.

14
00:00:40,586 --> 00:00:43,343
Come on, Ma.
Stop, no, that's nasty. Ew.

15
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:45,550
You're embarrassing me in front
of all the crackheads

16
00:00:45,551 --> 00:00:47,240
and homeless people.

17
00:00:47,241 --> 00:00:49,964
And that's hard to do because
we suck dick for spare change.

18
00:00:49,965 --> 00:00:52,102
I don't care what they think.

19
00:00:52,103 --> 00:00:54,171
You're my responsibility,
not theirs.

20
00:00:54,172 --> 00:00:55,688
I can't wait till
Robert gets back

21
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:57,412
from his tour of all those
historically Black colleges.

22
00:00:57,413 --> 00:00:59,895
I hate being an only child.

23
00:00:59,896 --> 00:01:01,827
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

24
00:01:04,137 --> 00:01:07,309
Then Jesus said,
you will know the truth,

25
00:01:07,310 --> 00:01:10,309
and the truth
will set you free.

26
00:01:10,310 --> 00:01:12,274
Jesus must have
done time because he

27
00:01:12,275 --> 00:01:13,757
knew what he talking about.

28
00:01:13,758 --> 00:01:17,205
Freedom is beautiful,
just like you, boo.

29
00:01:17,206 --> 00:01:18,930
I'm talking freedom.

30
00:01:18,931 --> 00:01:21,343
The Lord wants us to be free.

31
00:01:21,344 --> 00:01:23,309
See how much I'm improving?

32
00:01:23,310 --> 00:01:25,309
Just a month ago,
I would have slapped

33
00:01:25,310 --> 00:01:26,654
the Holy Ghost out that dude.

34
00:01:26,655 --> 00:01:31,654
But my freedom
kept me in check.

35
00:01:31,655 --> 00:01:33,240
Mom, no. Come on, stop.

36
00:01:33,241 --> 00:01:34,964
You're messing up my waves
for the babes.

37
00:01:34,965 --> 00:01:36,343
Jesus don't care
about your waves.

38
00:01:36,344 --> 00:01:41,516
Now, we need to use
our gift of freedom

39
00:01:41,517 --> 00:01:45,240
to provide those in need
with a helping hand.

40
00:01:45,241 --> 00:01:47,619
Lord knows.
congregation: Amen.

41
00:01:47,620 --> 00:01:49,861
I'm so glad you
agree with me, saints,

42
00:01:49,862 --> 00:01:54,067
because there is a child among
us who needs our helping hands.

43
00:01:54,068 --> 00:01:56,895
This young man's father
lost his freedom

44
00:01:56,896 --> 00:01:58,964
to the system years ago.

45
00:01:58,965 --> 00:02:00,757
Amen, brother.

46
00:02:00,758 --> 00:02:03,309
And his mother, sadly,
is going away

47
00:02:03,310 --> 00:02:04,999
for a short time herself.

48
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,516
- So shameful.
- Mm-mm.

49
00:02:06,517 --> 00:02:08,930
- So trifling.
- So neglectful.

50
00:02:08,931 --> 00:02:11,585
Yeah, I could use a little
bit of that neglect myself.

51
00:02:11,586 --> 00:02:14,171
So he needs the care
of a loving family

52
00:02:14,172 --> 00:02:16,895
to watch over him
until his mother is

53
00:02:16,896 --> 00:02:19,205
once again among us.

54
00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:20,448
Come up here, young man.

55
00:02:23,482 --> 00:02:25,447
Man, not Dirty Dante.

56
00:02:25,448 --> 00:02:26,930
I'll get the usual.

57
00:02:26,931 --> 00:02:29,205
The smell, it burns!

58
00:02:29,206 --> 00:02:31,102
Whew!

59
00:02:31,103 --> 00:02:33,136
Whoo, that's the funkiest kid
I ever smelled in my life.

60
00:02:33,137 --> 00:02:34,205
Hallelujah!

61
00:02:34,206 --> 00:02:36,067
Oh, my God.

62
00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:37,999
Oh, it smells bad.

63
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,930
Oh, that foul smelling baby.

64
00:02:39,931 --> 00:02:42,171
- Oh, baby.
- Oh, Lord.

65
00:02:42,172 --> 00:02:44,205
That's that poor boy
who got shot

66
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:46,378
the night I brought you
to the ER with me.

67
00:02:46,379 --> 00:02:49,861
Doesn't anybody want to take
this child in?

68
00:02:49,862 --> 00:02:52,723
Maybe God put this baby
in my path for a reason.

69
00:02:52,724 --> 00:02:54,930
Mom, no.
Look, he'll be fine.

70
00:02:54,931 --> 00:02:57,757
Dante's like a roach, okay?
He'll outlive us all.

71
00:03:00,620 --> 00:03:04,688
I just want everybody to know
that I don't eat much.

72
00:03:04,689 --> 00:03:07,171
And I don't use a lot of water.

73
00:03:07,172 --> 00:03:08,688
Or soap.

74
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,412
Oh, my Lord.

75
00:03:10,413 --> 00:03:13,895
We do have a little room now
with Robert away.

76
00:03:13,896 --> 00:03:15,688
Mom, look,
don't get sucked into this.

77
00:03:15,689 --> 00:03:17,895
I'm telling you,
I'd never live it down.

78
00:03:17,896 --> 00:03:20,447
If the dirtiest kid in Philly
comes to stay with me,

79
00:03:20,448 --> 00:03:23,067
he'll make our house smell
like armpits and boo-boo

80
00:03:23,068 --> 00:03:24,378
and spoiled fruit cocktail.

81
00:03:24,379 --> 00:03:26,688
But his mother is
going away to jail.

82
00:03:26,689 --> 00:03:29,033
No, no, no, no,
his mother is not exactly--

83
00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:30,964
She made some bad choices.

84
00:03:30,965 --> 00:03:33,688
But we can't hold that
against that poor baby.

85
00:03:33,689 --> 00:03:36,861
He needs a good mother,
which I am.

86
00:03:36,862 --> 00:03:38,757
I'm a great mother.

87
00:03:38,758 --> 00:03:40,274
I'll do it.

88
00:03:40,275 --> 00:03:42,964
Well, here comes
the roasting.

89
00:03:45,068 --> 00:03:47,688
Kev, you're gonna
need to wear a hazmat suit

90
00:03:47,689 --> 00:03:50,723
just to breathe at your crib.

91
00:03:50,724 --> 00:03:53,758
Kevin Hart's gonna
turn into Kevin Fart.

92
00:03:59,310 --> 00:04:02,585
You are a true angel,
Sister Hart.

93
00:04:02,586 --> 00:04:06,033
I'm but a willing vessel
of the Lord.

94
00:04:06,034 --> 00:04:07,895
He knows I'm here to--

95
00:04:07,896 --> 00:04:09,447
Yes, yes, Lord, Hallelujah!
Amen.

96
00:04:09,448 --> 00:04:11,757
I got to go. Bye.

97
00:04:11,758 --> 00:04:15,274
Dante, I'm so sorry about
your mom having to go away.

98
00:04:15,275 --> 00:04:16,378
Where are they taking her to?

99
00:04:16,379 --> 00:04:18,171
Atlantic City.

100
00:04:18,172 --> 00:04:19,723
Atlantic City?

101
00:04:19,724 --> 00:04:21,378
What institution is out there?

102
00:04:21,379 --> 00:04:22,619
Caesar's Palace.

103
00:04:22,620 --> 00:04:24,136
That's her bus right there.

104
00:04:24,137 --> 00:04:25,516
A casino?

105
00:04:25,517 --> 00:04:27,550
I tried to tell you, Mom.

106
00:04:27,551 --> 00:04:29,619
Now, Dante, baby,
go and pray for your mom

107
00:04:29,620 --> 00:04:31,619
and wish me luck, because
when I'm sitting in front

108
00:04:31,620 --> 00:04:34,481
of that slot machine and
them three cherries come up,

109
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:35,826
I'ma be thinking of you.

110
00:04:35,827 --> 00:04:37,964
You're leaving your son
with me to go

111
00:04:37,965 --> 00:04:39,378
on a stupid gambling trip?

112
00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:40,964
Stupid gambling?

113
00:04:40,965 --> 00:04:44,688
I'll have you know, playing
that nickel slot is my career.

114
00:04:44,689 --> 00:04:47,378
Mm-mm, baby, it put
more food on my table

115
00:04:47,379 --> 00:04:48,792
than any man ever did.

116
00:04:48,793 --> 00:04:50,033
That's true.

117
00:04:50,034 --> 00:04:52,067
Mama always comes home
with the shrimp

118
00:04:52,068 --> 00:04:55,033
from the Emperor Nero buffet.

119
00:04:55,034 --> 00:04:56,309
Jumbo shrimp?

120
00:04:56,310 --> 00:04:59,102
Not just jumbo shrimp--
they almost prone.

121
00:04:59,103 --> 00:05:02,205
And I mean, these shrimps
got driver's license.

122
00:05:02,206 --> 00:05:04,964
So don't you say
I neglect my son,

123
00:05:04,965 --> 00:05:07,033
'cause baby, when it come to
being a good mother,

124
00:05:07,034 --> 00:05:10,447
Tinky Singletary takes
a backseat to no one.

125
00:05:10,448 --> 00:05:12,136
Now leaving
for Atlantic City.

126
00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:13,379
I call the backseat.

127
00:05:21,172 --> 00:05:25,412
♪ What's a sunny day
without you ♪

128
00:05:25,413 --> 00:05:26,999
Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!

129
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,999
They got one of them mugshot
caricature artists here.

130
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,481
Oh, my gosh.

131
00:05:32,482 --> 00:05:34,550
That's the bomb.
Can we go over there?

132
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:38,309
Go ahead, kids,
and remember not to smile.

133
00:05:38,310 --> 00:05:40,240
- Hell yeah.
- Bitches.

134
00:05:40,241 --> 00:05:42,551
Pew, pew, da-da-da.

135
00:05:44,413 --> 00:05:46,688
Life on the outside is sweet.

136
00:05:46,689 --> 00:05:50,654
From now on, I'm gonna be
a career non-criminal.

137
00:05:50,655 --> 00:05:52,688
I'm glad it's
all working out.

138
00:05:52,689 --> 00:05:56,481
Do you ever miss your time
in the joint, or miss anybody?

139
00:05:56,482 --> 00:05:59,067
Why would I?
I got my whole life here.

140
00:05:59,068 --> 00:06:03,309
I got you, my freedom,
and my sweet kids.

141
00:06:03,310 --> 00:06:06,033
Daddy, can we go see
"The Lion King"?

142
00:06:06,034 --> 00:06:08,481
I heard it's about an OG lion
that gets smoked.

143
00:06:08,482 --> 00:06:11,654
Then his kid comes back to cap
the motherfucker who did it.

144
00:06:11,655 --> 00:06:13,516
Sound like a plan to me.

145
00:06:13,517 --> 00:06:15,033
What do you say, Allison?

146
00:06:15,034 --> 00:06:17,550
Oh, I'd love to,
but I have to go teach

147
00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:20,550
a new class, uh,
in prison today.

148
00:06:20,551 --> 00:06:22,550
I'll see you guys later.

149
00:06:22,551 --> 00:06:25,274
I didn't know she was
teaching cons again.

150
00:06:25,275 --> 00:06:27,102
Why is she acting so weird?

151
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,136
Dang, Mom,
I think he's broken.

152
00:06:35,137 --> 00:06:37,688
Uh, Dante? You okay?

153
00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:42,654
Oh, my God,
your oven actually works?

154
00:06:42,655 --> 00:06:45,412
We just use ours to keep
our broken remote controls

155
00:06:45,413 --> 00:06:47,586
and empty bread bags in it.

156
00:06:52,482 --> 00:06:54,102
What's wrong with that kid?

157
00:06:54,103 --> 00:06:57,136
He's like a baby bird that
just hatched and then fell

158
00:06:57,137 --> 00:06:58,861
out of the nest onto his head.

159
00:06:58,862 --> 00:07:00,136
That's what I was
trying to tell you,

160
00:07:00,137 --> 00:07:02,688
but you wouldn't listen.
-  Oh, well.

161
00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:04,378
What are we gonna do with him?

162
00:07:04,379 --> 00:07:06,205
I say we lock him up
in Robert's room

163
00:07:06,206 --> 00:07:08,274
with a few Hot Pockets
till his mom comes back.

164
00:07:08,275 --> 00:07:09,861
We can't do that, silly.

165
00:07:09,862 --> 00:07:12,171
Just hang out with him
until dinner is ready.

166
00:07:12,172 --> 00:07:13,481
Hang out with him?

167
00:07:13,482 --> 00:07:15,585
I can barely breathe
the same air as him.

168
00:07:15,586 --> 00:07:17,205
You have a point there.

169
00:07:17,206 --> 00:07:19,136
I know what job one is.

170
00:07:19,137 --> 00:07:22,034
Dante, sweetheart--
what the hell?

171
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:26,792
How did it get
so filthy in here?

172
00:07:26,793 --> 00:07:29,412
We were only gone
for two minutes, tops.

173
00:07:29,413 --> 00:07:31,033
Mom, you just got Danted.

174
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:33,412
Kevin, take our guest
to the bathroom

175
00:07:33,413 --> 00:07:36,274
and explain to him
what a shower is.

176
00:07:36,275 --> 00:07:37,412
I'll try.

177
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:39,136
Come on, Dirty D.

178
00:07:39,137 --> 00:07:42,482
Ooh, your TV has knobs?

179
00:07:56,103 --> 00:07:59,516
Oh, my God, Dante,
you're light skinned.

180
00:07:59,517 --> 00:08:01,378
Who knew, under all that dirt?

181
00:08:01,379 --> 00:08:04,585
How long has it been since
you had a proper shower?

182
00:08:04,586 --> 00:08:08,793
Um, when was
the last time it rained?

183
00:08:10,103 --> 00:08:12,999
Meatloaf, mac and cheese,
and green beans?

184
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,240
Again?

185
00:08:14,241 --> 00:08:16,585
Oh, can I just make myself
a sandwich?

186
00:08:16,586 --> 00:08:18,481
What's wrong with you, Kev?

187
00:08:18,482 --> 00:08:20,550
This is the best meal
I've ever had.

188
00:08:20,551 --> 00:08:22,999
Macaroni and cheese?

189
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,516
See, Kev?

190
00:08:24,517 --> 00:08:27,999
You can learn a little about
gratitude from Dante here.

191
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,447
And because of that gratitude,

192
00:08:30,448 --> 00:08:33,792
I'm going to wash and iron your
clothes for school tomorrow.

193
00:08:33,793 --> 00:08:35,585
Oh, man.
Can you hook me up too?

194
00:08:35,586 --> 00:08:36,964
Nope.

195
00:08:36,965 --> 00:08:39,034
Your too-grown behind
can do it yourself.

196
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:48,378
I still can't believe y'all
got covers on your beds.

197
00:08:48,379 --> 00:08:51,033
And if you get a little cold
during the night,

198
00:08:51,034 --> 00:08:54,309
we have extra blankets
in the hallway closet.

199
00:08:54,310 --> 00:08:56,067
Y'all got a hallway?

200
00:08:56,068 --> 00:08:57,688
Jesus, Lord.

201
00:08:57,689 --> 00:09:00,654
Look, I don't need any of that
stupid mothering stuff anyway.

202
00:09:00,655 --> 00:09:02,205
I'm too old for that crap.

203
00:09:02,206 --> 00:09:06,654
♪ Hush, little baby,
don't say a word ♪

204
00:09:06,655 --> 00:09:09,343
Is she singing him my song?

205
00:09:09,344 --> 00:09:10,412
So what?

206
00:09:10,413 --> 00:09:11,964
I don't care.

207
00:09:11,965 --> 00:09:14,861
♪ Mama's gonna buy you
a mockingbird ♪

208
00:09:14,862 --> 00:09:17,343
You got mockingbird money?

209
00:09:17,344 --> 00:09:20,000
Agh!

210
00:09:23,206 --> 00:09:25,205
Ms. Greene know I'm trying
to leave jail behind,

211
00:09:25,206 --> 00:09:28,343
but she keeps bringing it up,
telling me she fears

212
00:09:28,344 --> 00:09:29,964
for niggas still locked up.

213
00:09:29,965 --> 00:09:32,102
And now she going back
there to teach.

214
00:09:32,103 --> 00:09:33,861
So?

215
00:09:33,862 --> 00:09:35,757
So maybe she's starting not
to feel me no more,

216
00:09:35,758 --> 00:09:37,757
because I'm no longer
about that life.

217
00:09:37,758 --> 00:09:39,033
Here we go.

218
00:09:39,034 --> 00:09:41,964
I'm just saying,
maybe she only wanted me

219
00:09:41,965 --> 00:09:43,274
because I was
a hardened criminal,

220
00:09:43,275 --> 00:09:45,136
and now that
I'm trying to switch it up,

221
00:09:45,137 --> 00:09:46,619
she ain't with it.

222
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,723
Shit got me all fucked up.

223
00:09:48,724 --> 00:09:49,964
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

224
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:51,412
Somebody fucked
with you, Richie?

225
00:09:51,413 --> 00:09:52,585
Who do I gotta ride on?

226
00:09:52,586 --> 00:09:53,930
Whoa, whoa.
Hold up, Chincy.

227
00:09:53,931 --> 00:09:56,102
Hold up. It's not like that.

228
00:09:56,103 --> 00:09:59,550
It's just my girl, sending me
mixed signals and shit.

229
00:09:59,551 --> 00:10:00,861
Oh, okay.

230
00:10:00,862 --> 00:10:03,205
Love is complicated, brother.

231
00:10:03,206 --> 00:10:05,309
I won't shoot her then.

232
00:10:05,310 --> 00:10:06,930
Good old Chincy.

233
00:10:06,931 --> 00:10:09,136
Always up to smoke
a motherfucker for a friend.

234
00:10:09,137 --> 00:10:11,171
Now, Richard,
I think you're tripping.

235
00:10:11,172 --> 00:10:13,964
That woman loves
the fuck out of you.

236
00:10:13,965 --> 00:10:15,861
I mean, I've heard
of crazy people

237
00:10:15,862 --> 00:10:17,999
out there with
criminal fetishes,

238
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,102
but my craydar tells me
Ms. Greene ain't like that.

239
00:10:21,103 --> 00:10:22,309
I knew it.

240
00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:24,654
She's got a criminal fetish.

241
00:10:24,655 --> 00:10:26,757
She's gonna leave me
and start hooking up

242
00:10:26,758 --> 00:10:28,826
with one of those
hardcore dudes in the joint.

243
00:10:28,827 --> 00:10:31,861
Come on, Richard,
you gotta trust her.

244
00:10:31,862 --> 00:10:34,102
Okay, you're right.

245
00:10:34,103 --> 00:10:35,412
I do.

246
00:10:35,413 --> 00:10:37,688
And I'll prove it.

247
00:10:37,689 --> 00:10:38,826
With a trap!

248
00:10:42,172 --> 00:10:45,654
Ms. Hart, can you
read to me like they do

249
00:10:45,655 --> 00:10:48,309
on that show, "Family Matters"?

250
00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:50,274
I'd be delighted to.

251
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:53,964
It's been so long since
I got to read a book to Kevin.

252
00:10:53,965 --> 00:10:56,240
Yeah, well, that's 'cause
I know how to read on my own.

253
00:10:56,241 --> 00:10:58,585
I read chapter books, punk.

254
00:10:58,586 --> 00:11:00,447
Kevin, why don't
you go play with Soupy

255
00:11:00,448 --> 00:11:02,102
and Loopy or whoever?

256
00:11:02,103 --> 00:11:03,516
Gladly.

257
00:11:03,517 --> 00:11:06,067
My saint for this kid.

258
00:11:06,068 --> 00:11:10,378
Now, dear Dante, what would
you like me to read to you?

259
00:11:10,379 --> 00:11:13,481
Uh, "Pimp" by Iceberg Slim.

260
00:11:13,482 --> 00:11:16,861
My uncle mama's boyfriend
left it when he went to work

261
00:11:16,862 --> 00:11:20,412
Super Bowl week in Pasadena.

262
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:22,309
Uh, well...

263
00:11:26,448 --> 00:11:27,723
Of course.

264
00:11:27,724 --> 00:11:29,343
Now, snuggle up.

265
00:11:29,344 --> 00:11:31,688
God help me.

266
00:11:31,689 --> 00:11:35,378
Chapter 1: Birth of a Player.

267
00:11:35,379 --> 00:11:38,550
Stupid, Dirty Dante,
funking up the bathtub,

268
00:11:38,551 --> 00:11:39,930
stealing my mom.

269
00:11:39,931 --> 00:11:41,654
I thought you said
your mom was always

270
00:11:41,655 --> 00:11:43,274
all up in your business.

271
00:11:43,275 --> 00:11:45,102
Pop. Dang it.

272
00:11:45,103 --> 00:11:47,550
No matter how it broke,
it broke, and I win.

273
00:11:47,551 --> 00:11:48,619
Let's go again.

274
00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:50,861
She is, or she was.

275
00:11:50,862 --> 00:11:54,102
But now she's all up
in Dante's business.

276
00:11:54,103 --> 00:11:55,378
Yeah.

277
00:11:55,379 --> 00:11:57,861
In your face, spoon.

278
00:11:57,862 --> 00:11:59,412
Will you stop
playing Spoon Pop?

279
00:11:59,413 --> 00:12:01,654
Okay, this is some serious
Mom stuff I'm dealing with.

280
00:12:01,655 --> 00:12:03,136
- Oh, sorry.
- My bad.

281
00:12:03,137 --> 00:12:04,688
Yeah, I'll show her, though.

282
00:12:04,689 --> 00:12:05,861
When she yells for me
to come in

283
00:12:05,862 --> 00:12:06,964
when the street lights come on,

284
00:12:06,965 --> 00:12:09,067
I won't come in,
not right away.

285
00:12:09,068 --> 00:12:10,343
And then you know
what's gonna happen?

286
00:12:10,344 --> 00:12:12,240
She's gonna come out
all mad and be like,

287
00:12:12,241 --> 00:12:15,171
Kevin Darnell Hart, get your
natural Black behind in here.

288
00:12:15,172 --> 00:12:16,895
Kevin.

289
00:12:16,896 --> 00:12:17,861
And I'll be like,
so the lights are on.

290
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:18,930
So what, Mom?

291
00:12:18,931 --> 00:12:20,136
You can't make me.

292
00:12:20,137 --> 00:12:21,999
Then she'll be like--
- Kev, Kev!

293
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:25,550
The street lights
are already on!

294
00:12:25,551 --> 00:12:26,619
Ooh.

295
00:12:29,034 --> 00:12:30,792
Dang, she's still
reading to him.

296
00:12:30,793 --> 00:12:32,688
She's acting it out
and everything.

297
00:12:32,689 --> 00:12:34,723
Kev, you're not getting this.

298
00:12:34,724 --> 00:12:36,447
You're a free man now.

299
00:12:36,448 --> 00:12:38,861
Yeah, you got some mom
who don't give a shit

300
00:12:38,862 --> 00:12:41,757
what you doing, just like us.

301
00:12:41,758 --> 00:12:43,412
You know, I've been tripping.

302
00:12:43,413 --> 00:12:45,619
This isn't a bad thing, because
now I can do whatever I want.

303
00:12:45,620 --> 00:12:47,516
I'm free. I'm free!

304
00:12:49,275 --> 00:12:51,240
It's Kev after dark.

305
00:12:51,241 --> 00:12:53,826
♪ Y'all gon' make me
lose my mind ♪

306
00:12:53,827 --> 00:12:56,102
♪ Up in here, up in here ♪

307
00:12:56,103 --> 00:12:58,585
♪ Y'all gon' make me
go all out ♪

308
00:12:58,586 --> 00:13:00,930
♪ Up in here, up in here ♪

309
00:13:00,931 --> 00:13:03,274
♪ Y'all gon' make me
act a fool ♪

310
00:13:03,275 --> 00:13:05,516
♪ Up in here, up in here ♪

311
00:13:05,517 --> 00:13:08,067
♪ Y'all gon' make me
lose my cool ♪

312
00:13:08,068 --> 00:13:10,205
♪ Up in here, up in here ♪

313
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,412
♪ I bring down rain so heavy
it hurts the head ♪

314
00:13:12,413 --> 00:13:14,585
♪ No more talking,
put him in the dirt instead ♪

315
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:17,481
♪ You keep walking,
less you tryna end up red ♪

316
00:13:17,482 --> 00:13:19,964
♪ Cause if I end up fed
y'all end up dead ♪

317
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:22,412
♪ He ain't playin' with y'all,
he ain't playin' with y'all ♪

318
00:13:37,241 --> 00:13:41,274
♪ Ain't nothin'
y'all can do now ♪

319
00:13:41,275 --> 00:13:45,516
"'You best get me my money,
Patchy Joe,' I demanded.

320
00:13:45,517 --> 00:13:47,343
The very next day--"

321
00:13:51,862 --> 00:13:54,654
Don't make me cut a bitch.

322
00:13:54,655 --> 00:13:56,447
So sweet.

323
00:14:03,620 --> 00:14:07,861
Spoon fucking pop.

324
00:14:07,862 --> 00:14:08,999
God dang it.

325
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,619
$5, pay up.

326
00:14:10,620 --> 00:14:12,343
And no food stamps this time.

327
00:14:12,344 --> 00:14:15,723
I guess it's ketchup packets
and tap water for lunch

328
00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:17,895
Monday, again.

329
00:14:17,896 --> 00:14:19,964
Yo, yo, yo.

330
00:14:19,965 --> 00:14:22,516
Can Lil Kev get
a little action?

331
00:14:22,517 --> 00:14:24,654
Just a little
birthday card money

332
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,343
from my Aunt Tina in Tampa.

333
00:14:26,344 --> 00:14:27,412
Fancy schmancy.

334
00:14:27,413 --> 00:14:28,619
That's what I'm
talking about.

335
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:30,550
Be forewarned, nigga.

336
00:14:30,551 --> 00:14:32,550
This bad boy is from Wawa.

337
00:14:32,551 --> 00:14:35,102
Wonder Spoon will
give it a shot.

338
00:14:35,103 --> 00:14:37,895
- Oh!
- What?

339
00:14:37,896 --> 00:14:41,343
Look at the bend back
on that bitch.

340
00:14:41,344 --> 00:14:42,205
Let's pop.

341
00:14:45,827 --> 00:14:47,654
Okay.

342
00:14:47,655 --> 00:14:49,723
Okay, here she comes.

343
00:14:49,724 --> 00:14:52,516
Omar, you know the plan.

344
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:55,723
We've been over it
a hundred times.

345
00:14:55,724 --> 00:14:58,447
I'll act all hardcore thug

346
00:14:58,448 --> 00:15:01,343
and then see if
she wants me to, as you say,

347
00:15:01,344 --> 00:15:03,585
"get all up in her guts."

348
00:15:03,586 --> 00:15:05,343
That's right.

349
00:15:05,344 --> 00:15:09,481
Now, you gon' be tempted,
but try not to tap that ass.

350
00:15:09,482 --> 00:15:12,895
I'll try.

351
00:15:12,896 --> 00:15:14,654
Hey, Omar.

352
00:15:14,655 --> 00:15:16,309
You said you wanted to discuss
some artistic ways

353
00:15:16,310 --> 00:15:20,412
to spruce up this lovely,
lovely apartment.

354
00:15:20,413 --> 00:15:21,585
Damn straight.

355
00:15:21,586 --> 00:15:23,585
I was thinking
maybe a nice pastel

356
00:15:23,586 --> 00:15:25,481
to set off the toilet sink.

357
00:15:25,482 --> 00:15:28,240
Look, look.
They on the bed already.

358
00:15:28,241 --> 00:15:30,412
You know that's the only
furniture we got, Richie.

359
00:15:30,413 --> 00:15:31,999
They smiling.

360
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:35,033
They laughing, about how she
wants to get freaky with him.

361
00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:37,309
Richie, you need
to take a chill pill.

362
00:15:37,310 --> 00:15:40,136
No fucking way.

363
00:15:40,137 --> 00:15:41,619
Richard really did that?

364
00:15:41,620 --> 00:15:45,205
Yeah, he was a riot
in that riot.

365
00:15:45,206 --> 00:15:47,619
Get your hands off my woman's
fat white ass.

366
00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:49,757
Richard, what are you doing?

367
00:15:49,758 --> 00:15:51,654
No, what are you doing?

368
00:15:51,655 --> 00:15:53,171
We're just talking.

369
00:15:53,172 --> 00:15:55,723
Talking about how much
you wanna fuck him

370
00:15:55,724 --> 00:15:58,516
while I watch across the street
with binoculars?

371
00:15:58,517 --> 00:15:59,826
What?

372
00:15:59,827 --> 00:16:02,274
Man, it ain't even
like that, Richard.

373
00:16:02,275 --> 00:16:04,550
Like hell it ain't.

374
00:16:04,551 --> 00:16:07,861
You not feeling me
like you used to

375
00:16:07,862 --> 00:16:11,930
'cause I'm not thug enough
no more.

376
00:16:11,931 --> 00:16:14,654
You got a type, don't you?

377
00:16:14,655 --> 00:16:16,792
Yes, you.

378
00:16:29,965 --> 00:16:31,067
Come on, Wonder Spoon.

379
00:16:31,068 --> 00:16:32,274
Hang in there now.

380
00:16:32,275 --> 00:16:35,033
Kev needs a new pair
of Jordans.

381
00:16:35,034 --> 00:16:36,585
Dang, he broke the spoon.

382
00:16:36,586 --> 00:16:38,136
It's over.

383
00:16:38,137 --> 00:16:39,412
It's never over.

384
00:16:39,413 --> 00:16:42,447
That's right,
a tablespoon, bitches.

385
00:16:42,448 --> 00:16:44,723
Now, that's a spoon.
Double or nothing.

386
00:16:44,724 --> 00:16:48,654
Kev, thanks to you,
I'm learning to read,

387
00:16:48,655 --> 00:16:50,619
so I'll take it easy on you.

388
00:16:50,620 --> 00:16:54,240
You're already
in the hole 15 big ones.

389
00:16:54,241 --> 00:16:56,171
Walk away before
this gets out of hand

390
00:16:56,172 --> 00:16:58,826
and I have to beat your ass
to collect my money.

391
00:16:58,827 --> 00:17:01,793
I said, double or nothing.

392
00:17:04,379 --> 00:17:06,688
Richard, I'm happy
you're moving on with your life

393
00:17:06,689 --> 00:17:07,895
on the outside.

394
00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:09,964
That's what this week
was about.

395
00:17:09,965 --> 00:17:11,274
I've been going back
to the prison

396
00:17:11,275 --> 00:17:14,205
to sketch your friends there
for this.

397
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:19,550
I was gonna paint it on canvas
and give it to you.

398
00:17:19,551 --> 00:17:21,550
It was supposed
to be a surprise.

399
00:17:21,551 --> 00:17:23,516
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

400
00:17:23,517 --> 00:17:25,895
Hold up, hold up.

401
00:17:25,896 --> 00:17:27,792
You were doing this for me?

402
00:17:27,793 --> 00:17:30,310
Only for you, boo bear.

403
00:17:31,793 --> 00:17:34,240
And thank you
for restraining yourself

404
00:17:34,241 --> 00:17:35,895
and not jumping all over her.

405
00:17:35,896 --> 00:17:39,895
It was hard because
I like women so much.

406
00:17:51,551 --> 00:17:54,137
Ooh, we better hurry up
and get to church.

407
00:17:57,517 --> 00:18:00,619
I can't wait to thank
the Lord for you, Ms. Hart.

408
00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:03,757
Kevin, get your
natural Black behind up

409
00:18:03,758 --> 00:18:05,654
and dressed for church.

410
00:18:05,655 --> 00:18:08,688
I said, get off that bed and--

411
00:18:08,689 --> 00:18:12,033
Kevin, where are you?

412
00:18:12,034 --> 00:18:15,723
Ready or not, here it comes.

413
00:18:15,724 --> 00:18:17,757
He popped hisself.

414
00:18:17,758 --> 00:18:20,274
Time to pay up, bitch.

415
00:18:20,275 --> 00:18:24,102
Perhaps we can work out
some kind of layaway plan?

416
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,826
Kevin!

417
00:18:25,827 --> 00:18:29,619
I would never even think
about leaving you, Ms. Hart.

418
00:18:29,620 --> 00:18:31,619
Take your behind in the
kitchen and eat a cookie.

419
00:18:31,620 --> 00:18:33,999
My baby is missing.

420
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,999
Kevin!

421
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,861
Kevin.

422
00:18:37,862 --> 00:18:41,654
Kevin! Kevin!

423
00:18:41,655 --> 00:18:43,103
Kevin Hart!

424
00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:48,067
Mmm, Smitty,
that is one good goddamn

425
00:18:48,068 --> 00:18:49,619
breakfast burrito cocktail.

426
00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:50,930
Uh-huh.

427
00:18:50,931 --> 00:18:52,827
You know, the difference
is the poached eggs.

428
00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,654
- Harry.
-  Nancy!

429
00:18:56,655 --> 00:18:58,585
Kevin didn't come home
last night,

430
00:18:58,586 --> 00:19:01,102
and I can't find him anywhere!

431
00:19:01,103 --> 00:19:02,826
Oh, Lord.

432
00:19:02,827 --> 00:19:03,964
Okay, Nancy.

433
00:19:03,965 --> 00:19:05,343
Don't you worry, baby.

434
00:19:05,344 --> 00:19:08,171
We'll find him together.

435
00:19:08,172 --> 00:19:09,516
Pour that devil hooch
out, Smitty.

436
00:19:09,517 --> 00:19:11,067
I told you,
I don't want it no more.

437
00:19:11,068 --> 00:19:13,067
But I do.

438
00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:14,378
Kevin!

439
00:19:14,379 --> 00:19:17,999
- Kevin!
- Kevin!

440
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,447
Kevin! Where are you, son?

441
00:19:20,448 --> 00:19:23,240
It's okay you didn't
come home last night.

442
00:19:23,241 --> 00:19:25,654
I just wanna know you're safe.
- Kevin!

443
00:19:25,655 --> 00:19:27,274
Mom, Dad,
I lost money to gamblers,

444
00:19:27,275 --> 00:19:28,274
and they wanna kill me.

445
00:19:28,275 --> 00:19:29,723
You what?

446
00:19:29,724 --> 00:19:32,274
Oh, you better pay up.

447
00:19:32,275 --> 00:19:34,378
Hang in there, son.

448
00:19:40,206 --> 00:19:43,412
Kevin, come to mama.

449
00:19:43,413 --> 00:19:46,550
Mom! Mom, I'm so sorry.

450
00:19:46,551 --> 00:19:48,757
I'm sorry I got mad at you for
neglecting me for Dirty Dante

451
00:19:48,758 --> 00:19:50,481
and I did all the stuff
that you don't let me do,

452
00:19:50,482 --> 00:19:51,826
and I got in real big trouble.

453
00:19:51,827 --> 00:19:53,205
- Mm-mm.
- Jesus.

454
00:19:53,206 --> 00:19:54,412
That ain't right.

455
00:19:54,413 --> 00:19:56,067
Oh, that's a
neglectful mother.

456
00:19:56,068 --> 00:19:58,102
- For shame.
- Leave her alone!

457
00:19:58,103 --> 00:20:01,067
She's a single mama with
a handsome, deadbeat husband.

458
00:20:01,068 --> 00:20:02,723
Mm!

459
00:20:02,724 --> 00:20:05,378
I was wrong
to neglect you, Kevin.

460
00:20:05,379 --> 00:20:08,654
I guess I enjoyed having
a son to baby again.

461
00:20:08,655 --> 00:20:11,964
But you will always be my baby.

462
00:20:11,965 --> 00:20:13,792
I love you.

463
00:20:13,793 --> 00:20:16,481
I'm truly jealous
of your family, love.

464
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:18,412
But I'm still gonna
have to put a hurt on Kev

465
00:20:18,413 --> 00:20:19,895
if he don't pay up.

466
00:20:19,896 --> 00:20:21,792
That's just the rules
of the streets.

467
00:20:21,793 --> 00:20:23,136
I got this.

468
00:20:23,137 --> 00:20:24,447
I'll get you your money.

469
00:20:24,448 --> 00:20:26,654
How much does Kevin owe you?

470
00:20:26,655 --> 00:20:28,274
$60.

471
00:20:28,275 --> 00:20:30,550
Ooh.

472
00:20:30,551 --> 00:20:32,723
Six--$60?

473
00:20:32,724 --> 00:20:35,999
Well, look, on the bright side,
at least we got another kid.

474
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,274
Time to pay up.

475
00:20:37,275 --> 00:20:38,826
I want my money.

476
00:20:38,827 --> 00:20:40,792
How about shrimp?

477
00:20:40,793 --> 00:20:44,240
15 pounds, straight from
the Caesar's Palace buffet.

478
00:20:44,241 --> 00:20:47,136
Emperor Nero
jumbo coconut?

479
00:20:47,137 --> 00:20:48,481
Well, of course.

480
00:20:48,482 --> 00:20:50,412
That's worth, like,
80 bucks, easy!

481
00:20:50,413 --> 00:20:51,757
You got yourself a deal.

482
00:20:51,758 --> 00:20:54,137
I'm the king of seafood.

483
00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:58,827
This is good,
shells and all, baby.

484
00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:04,067
Thank you for helping me
save my son from himself.

485
00:21:04,068 --> 00:21:05,723
Oh, that's okay.

486
00:21:05,724 --> 00:21:07,447
I was just returning the favor
for you taking care of my son

487
00:21:07,448 --> 00:21:08,688
while I was at work.

488
00:21:08,689 --> 00:21:11,378
It was a pleasure
looking after him.

489
00:21:11,379 --> 00:21:13,862
Uh, yeah, but where
the hell he at?

490
00:21:18,827 --> 00:21:20,000
Dante!

491
00:21:21,344 --> 00:21:23,309
Hello, Ms. Hart.

492
00:21:23,310 --> 00:21:25,447
Who the hell is this
light-skinned kid?

493
00:21:25,448 --> 00:21:27,309
Mama, you're home.

494
00:21:27,310 --> 00:21:28,723
Baby.

495
00:21:28,724 --> 00:21:31,067
And you smell
like cocktail sauce

496
00:21:31,068 --> 00:21:34,447
and watered down well drinks.

497
00:21:34,448 --> 00:21:37,136
I'm sorry for
judging you so harshly.

498
00:21:37,137 --> 00:21:40,550
I understand how hard it is
to be a single mom.

499
00:21:40,551 --> 00:21:43,102
We gotta work together.
- Yes, we do.

500
00:21:43,103 --> 00:21:46,102
Why don't you and Dante
come by for dinner sometime?

501
00:21:46,103 --> 00:21:47,619
That would be nice.

502
00:21:47,620 --> 00:21:49,585
Well, just let me know
when you wanna stop by.

503
00:21:49,586 --> 00:21:53,550
No time like the present.
Let's get busy, son.

504
00:21:53,551 --> 00:21:56,826
My God, y'all got a lot
of boxes of Rice Baloney.

505
00:21:56,827 --> 00:22:01,826
And Mama,
they got proto cake here.

506
00:22:01,827 --> 00:22:03,516
We in the
promised land, Dante.

507
00:22:03,517 --> 00:22:05,619
Don't tell me my God
don't know my wishes.

508
00:22:05,620 --> 00:22:07,033
♪ Oh, happy day ♪

509
00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:08,758
♪ Oh, happy day ♪

510
00:22:10,034 --> 00:22:12,378
♪ Happy day ♪

511
00:22:12,379 --> 00:22:16,447
♪ Oh, happy day ♪

512
00:22:16,448 --> 00:22:20,516
♪ When Jesus was ♪

513
00:22:20,517 --> 00:22:22,309
♪ Oh, when he was ♪

514
00:22:22,310 --> 00:22:24,516
♪ When Jesus was ♪

515
00:22:24,517 --> 00:22:27,999
♪ When Jesus washed ♪

516
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,102
♪ Washed my sins away ♪

517
00:22:30,103 --> 00:22:31,275
♪ Oh, happy ♪